The Grieving Process

Grief looks different for everyone. Whatever you're feeling is valid.

There is no single way to grieve. No correct timeline, no right order of emotions, no finish line you're supposed to cross by a certain point. Grief is as unique as the person you lost and the relationship you shared with them.

What we do know is that most people experience some common emotions as they move through loss, and understanding them can help you feel a little less alone in what you're going through.

The Five Stages of Grief

These stages, first described by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, are not a roadmap you move through in a straight line. You may experience them in any order, skip some entirely, return to others more than once, or cycle through them repeatedly over days, weeks, or months. All of that is normal.

Denial
In the early hours and days after a loss, you may feel numb, detached, or strangely calm, almost as if what happened hasn't fully registered. This is not a failure to feel. It's a natural survival response that helps you continue to function while your mind slowly absorbs something too large to take in all at once.

Anger
As the numbness begins to lift, anger often surfaces in its place. You may feel angry at doctors, at family members, at the person you lost, or at God. You may feel angry without knowing exactly why. This is a normal and necessary part of healing. Anger is pain with nowhere else to go, and allowing yourself to feel it, rather than suppress it, is part of moving through it.

Bargaining
Bargaining often sounds like "if only" and "what if." If only I had noticed sooner. What if we had tried a different treatment. Could I have done something differently. Guilt frequently accompanies this stage. It is your mind's attempt to regain control over something that was always beyond your control. Be gentle with yourself here.

Depression
At some point, the loss settles in fully, and with it can come a deep, heavy sadness. This is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is the appropriate, human response to losing someone you loved. Feeling this sadness deeply is not weakness. It is evidence of how much they mattered.

Acceptance
Acceptance doesn't mean you're "over it" — it means the loss has become part of your story rather than the only thing in it. Life begins to move forward again. You find yourself able to enjoy things, to reconnect with people, to look ahead. The grief doesn't disappear, but it changes shape, and you learn to carry it differently.

How Long Will I Feel This Way?

There's no universal answer. Most grief experts suggest it's not unusual for the full grieving process to take at least a year — and for many people, especially after a profound loss, it takes longer. What matters is not how quickly you move through it, but that you allow yourself to move through it at all.

Complicated Grief

Sometimes grief becomes stuck. This can happen when previous losses haven't been fully processed, when a death is sudden or traumatic, or when the weight of grief disrupts daily life for an extended period of time, making it difficult to work, maintain relationships, or care for yourself.

This is known as complicated grief, and it's more common than people realize. If you find that grief is still significantly disrupting your life after some time has passed, please consider reaching out to a professional counselor or therapist who specializes in loss. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness, it's one of the most loving things you can do for yourself.

We're Here For You.

Our care for the families we serve doesn't end after the service. If you need help finding grief support resources in our community, please don't hesitate to reach out. We're honored to help in any way we can.